By Anindita Dev
Many a times I have come across mundane people bombarding me with their bizarre questions inquiring `Why am I still single`?
This is a question which even I may not have thought deeply into, as it seriously does not bother me. But repeated queries (some of them heavy with concern) from my social circle have set the rational wheels of my brain churning for an answer.
I feel I can barely sit through a social event, without attracting queer glances from the bystanders if I slip in that I am single. Their `sorry` expression is what irks me the most.
I am not sorry, so why are they? If I am not dating at 24 or in a serious relationship, it is not the end of the world.
There are many reasons that one could choose or not choose to lead a single life. It always doesn’t mean that one has to inevitably be lonely, which I am sure many people just assume on their own.
Often, people of my age who are happily married end up making weird theories about how my life has gone wrong because of my `relationship status` and how I need to rectify it.
Hello! I do not want to be sympathized with.
It’s not as if there is dearth of men. Sometimes, many factors could lead to anybody’s ‘single status’. One might have got a bad hand or two dealing in a relationship and now may be too wary to invest any more of their time and emotions in someone. I would prefer not to be in a casual relationship with any random guy, who is interested in me.
It’s not always one voluntarily chooses to be single. Sometimes situations decide your personal choices. Let other people be happy. I just can’t go door-to-door dating a string of men till I find that perfect mate. I would rather be single and enjoy my time off with my gang of friends I adore and love.
Here is an interesting Q&A list that I have had with countless people –
“You are great otherwise, how come you are still single?”
Just because I am great doesn’t mean I have to have a partner. I can be great at being just being myself.
“You are in your 20s, you should see someone before all good men are taken.”
I don’t want to hunt for any man. That’s not my secret mission in life, you know!
“Oh dear, are you still single? Do you think you’ll EVER hook up?”
It is none of your business. It is my choice when I want to hook up. If George Clooney can get married at 53, I am sure I have a lot of time to find my perfect guy! He may not be born yet for all I know. (Yes,
I know Madonna is a diva, so am I).
“When will you get married? Why don’t you settle down like I did?”
For God’s sake I am barely 24. I do not want to marry now, have a baby and be bogged down with societal pressures. I am single because I want to be.
“You should go for online dating.”
<…roll my eyes in disgust>
“Why don’t you meet this guy? I know him, he is sweet, sensible and rich!”
Excuse me! Why are you so enthusiastic about setting me up? Let me breathe!
“Let go off the past. You could meet the right guy out there. Just be more social. Not everyone is unhappy.”
Why should I be unhappy? Why do people assume that singledom equals unhappiness?
“All single girls are career-oriented that is why they are single, like you!”
Stop living in the past!
This is just pure generalisation. For one, I know many women, who enjoy being in a relationship as much as their jobs. Just because I work towards my ambition doesn’t mean I don’t fit in the `romantic` category.
Men of today don’t find working women intimidating. There are many guys who want to date successful women too.
“You are too choosy about men.”
No, I just avoid people with the emotional and intelligence quotient of a baboon!
People, please… stop being paranoid about those whom you know are not in a happy relationship as you. It’s not always what you think is the right notion.
Sympathising with me because of the relationship status just makes me feel as if all these people are more worried about societial image than seeing me for what I am. As if my life is defined by my partner and without him I am nothing but a disaster waiting to happen! These judgement calls on my life are unnerving to say the least.
Being single is ‘fun’-tastic! And I am making the most of it!
