We all know South Asian weddings and more so, love marriages can get messy, because let’s face it, our parents, aunties, uncles, and extended aunties and uncles have high expectations. Perhaps, too high at times. And we all know love doesn’t come with a checklist of items to cross-off like your mom’s bio-data once did. Love finds it’s own way of connecting two people, regardless of sex, religion, race or color. If you really love him, you will find a way to make it work with your family.
1. He is from the same religious or cultural background that your family is, and if he isn’t, then proving to your parents over time that he is accepting of your belief is always a viable route. And more so, make sure they understand that his love for you can overpower religious/cultural differences.
2. He has a stable and secure career. Many of our parents still prefer you to marry a doctor, engineer or lawyer, but more and more unique careers are becoming common for South Asian Americans to follow. Your parent’s just want you to be financially secure, and if your future husband can prove that, he will be welcomed into the family with open arms.
3. He comes from a good family, and has a good head on his shoulder. You can tell a lot about a person from his interactions with his family, and the way he was brought up. If both families get a long, then hopefully, you’re in for a smooth ride. However, let’s be real, anything is better than the “saas kutni” relationship we all fear.
4. He becomes your dad’s best friend, and possibly the son he never had. If you come from a family of all daughters, then your father is looking for someone to watch sports with, do handy work around the house with, and someone to do manly man things within the “man cave.”
5. He treats you like a princess. Parents want to see their daughter be treated like a princess. They want to know that their child is take care of and loved.
6. He calls your mom to check on her, or to simply to say “hello.” We know that Desi mom’s love to talk on the phone, or if you have tech savy mom, texting is the new phone call. If your boo texts your mom, then he is sure to have earned some brownie points.
7. He treats your siblings like his siblings. Parents like to know that he fits in well with the family. If he can laugh, and argue with the siblings, and your siblings approve, then you have earned yourself some more support.
8. He brings you closer to God. Being apart of the Desi community, no matter what religion, God is held at a high value.
9. You tell your parents why you love him. Parents want you to be happy, and if you explain to them why you love him, and what makes him special, than that’s what matters at the end of the day. It’s you and him. You two are the ones that will spend the rest of your life together, so the commitment you show to each other is what matters.
10. And last but not least, he asks your parents for permission to not take you away from them, but to be apart of their family, as well as making you apart of his family. Parents want to know that you aren’t stealing their child, but uniting two families together.