Although marriage is a very important social institution and is also a sacred bond which not only involves the couple but also two families of the bride and bridegroom respectively. There is a continuous debate regarding the best way to choose the partner for marriage. Be it arrange marriage or love marriage, marriage is nothing different for both.
Love marriage vs arrange marriage is just a question prevalent in minds of married couples who are not satisfied or are scared to live with an unknown partner for whole life.
Every individual wants to have a perfect match, but the criteria for choosing the partner is different. In love marriages, individuals prefer to choose their partners on their own, while in case of arrange marriages individuals prefers partners chosen by their family or parents.
Marriage has a different definition for everyone. But this bond gets strengthened by trust, belief, understanding, feeling of oneness, own-ness along with the usual potion of love, romance and affection. Love and arranged marriage both differs from the root.
There is always a thought in mind that love marriages don’t last much or they are the best because of the couples understanding built before entering marriage. But it is nothing related to the marriage type when it comes to knowing each other and understanding levels. The understanding can be built if you have faith and trust apart from flexibility among the couple.
Love marriage has the same benefits as arranged ones. Due to the time duration of knowing each other, couples have understanding which develops during their love affair. Because of this reason, many arrange marriage couples feel the lack of time duration which forms a base for developing understanding levels. But it is nothing like that to think about. They too develop good understanding which can be better than love marriage couples.
Love and marriage are inseparable from each other in any kind of marriage. Just the time factor can’t be the major reasons behind the success of marriage. Arrange marriage couples also have success in their marriage and comparison is just a way to deteriorate your own relationship.
Be confident of your love and never let the thought of comparing love among these two marriage types enter your mind. If the proximity, understanding and love are low in any of these marriages, then it will end gradually and the reason should not be the type of marriage.
Love marriage is better when the two individuals know each other in their true sense instead of projecting only their positives. Understanding each other well would be the basis of the victory of this love marriage. Coming on to the question whether every couple in love dare to share their intricate self prior to marriage is still doubtful. It is a normal human tendency to project our positives to impress others. And when our mind is attracted towards someone, we do tend to show all our good notes to get that person’s attention. This is why many love marriages ends up in vain.
Marriage like two sides of a coin comes with advantages and disadvantages. These are not dependent on the marriage types but the partners. So married couples, stop comparing love marriage vs arrange marriage and search for new ways to develop relationship with your spouse and not sticking to the question of which type of marriage is best for you. Leave the love marriage vs arrange marriage fight.
A marriage is not just a union of two people but a coming together of two families, two social networks which are now more closely linked than ever before.
An arranged marriage focuses on this family union. While looking for a partner for their son or daughter, parents will first check if the potential bride or groom’s family is compatible to theirs. Do they share the same background (cultural and religious), socio-economic status, level of education, similar values? If so, they feel they can safely marry their son or daughter into this family, knowing that they will be taken care of and live a life quite similar to their parents’. Security and stability seem to be the most valued things looked for in an arranged marriage. While this might seem like an unemotional way to go about it, the value of a stable marriage is undeniable. Perhaps this could be one of the reasons why India has such a low divorce rate.
Critics of arranged marriage would say that not enough importance is given in such marriages to how the couple feels about each other. Emotional and physically compatibility is overlooked in favor of practical considerations. If you say ‘I don’t feel anything for him/her’, family members might respond saying ‘Love will grow in time’.
Another drawback is that the couple might not have enough time to get to know each other, understand each other’s feelings, values and opinions, about different issues. So, once the wedding happens, there is a tremendous need for adjustment. Each partner will have to learn to understand and accommodate the other and begin to appreciate the good things in the relationship.
Marriage like two sides of a coin comes with advantages and disadvantages. These are not dependent on the marriage types but the partners. So married couples, stop comparing love marriage vs arrange marriage and search for new ways to develop relationship with your spouse and not sticking to the question of which type of marriage is best for you. Leave the love marriage vs arrange marriage fight.
Shekar Moily
