This post features the say of an anonymous Indian woman over usage of s*x toys after recent controversy about Snapdeal selling s*x toys online.
So today, I open my mouth to have the right to open my legs (only for myself). S*x education is a subject similar to mental health that doesn’t get all the importance that it should in India. Only in hush tones will the talk of s*x prevail. There is talk of rape, lots of it for that but consensual s*x? Nada, because apparently that is a taboo topic of discussion. So it’s no surprise that a natural humanly release like mast*bation would be so far from the topic of discussion that it almost doesn’t exist, unless we speak of rape, of course. A phenomenon closed behind doors, away from prying eyes (for women only obviously).
So mast*rbation is something we never talk about as it comes wrapped in social stigma and for what? The last time I checked it was actually pretty healthy to indulge in a little TLC with yourself. I would love to get into the scientific explanations about why mast*rbation is good for you but today I want to concentrate on tackling the stigma that surrounds the cause (yes, my ‘right to mast*rbation’ has officially been made into a cause).
So let me dive into the background of why we are having this discussion and why it’s so vital. We pride ourselves on being the intellectual generation, we are the free spirits, the homosexuals, the entrepreneurs, the women CEO’s and in a way we are the most guarded. We have no problem with putting our thoughts into the universe when no one is listening but when an issue that actually demands our attention presents itself; we are mum with the fear of social humiliation.
So this is my aim at eradicating the public shame that surrounds sexual health. You probably think I’m proceeding to address a very large issue and when I tell you what it is you might dismiss it as being extremely insignificant but I promise, we have a very valid concern on our hands. So what’s the problem? I used to wait for holidays abroad to visit a store in England whose contents would never be sold in India and for the longest time this store was my dirty little secret. It was probably my dirty little secret because no one ever spoke about what this store sold but everyone knew, everyone was using their products (behind closed doors). This store was called Anne Summers and right after you move past your Claire’s and Accessorize phase, this store is your next fantasy stop. The handcuffs, the silly sexual party favours that made you giggle, the bras made out of candy and last but definitely not the least, the sex toys.
So what’s all the fuss about? The vibrator? I don’t see why there should be fuss and I sure didn’t make it one before today. I just told you that this shop was my “dirty little secret” but today I realise that there’s actually nothing dirty about it. Secret? Yes for obvious reasons of humility because how often do you hear a man proclaiming his love for masturbation. Before today I would never open my mouth about this but it’s only to bring about awareness. Anne Summers was definitely a fantasy when I was back home in India so you can imagine how elated I was when I heard that Snapdeal introduced a sex toys section on their website. Finally, a silent victory! This wasn’t a victory for the girl that could afford a trip abroad to visit Anne Summers but a victory for the common girl who was deprived from these pleasures. A victory because we were finally put on the same level as men, it went to show that women deserve all the same ‘rights to pleasure’ as men. It is a scientific fact that most women find it hard to have an orgasm without any clitoral stimulation and it is also a common fact that women in India are used more as objects let alone being shown what an orgasm is. So silently we were all ecstatic about this new section on Snapdeal as it was a sign of progression and growth.
The intention behind me writing this is not to encourage you to go out and use sex toys or endorse masturbation. I believe that as a person that finds absolutely nothing wrong with it behind closed doors, I was violated when this secret right was at risk. Recently an article by the Times of India spoke about a man who has led a case against Snapdeal for having “objectionable content” on their website and sadly the man wasn’t even referring to the sex toys because he couldn’t even make it pass the lubricants. He obviously knew that lubricants were harmless so he claimed that lubes provoked unnatural sex. Unnatural? You can already sense that this is a bit confusing because scientifically lubes actually helped prevent unnatural intercourse to provide minimum pain to women that didn’t want to be just treated as objects. This man was referring to the homosexual community in India when he spoke about unnatural intercourse. It is illegal and unnatural to be a homosexual in India, which in itself is absurd, but what’s even more bizarre is the connection he made. So, as long as you were going to a chemist to buy some from durex, that is acceptable but online it’s frowned upon?
Today I don’t know if I should stand up for the homosexual community or that of my own because either way this man wants to rob us of a freedom we didn’t even have to talk about, a freedom we didn’t even know was at risk. I know this article may subject me to all sorts of judgements but that’s alright as we need to have more people talking about this because believe it or not, this is important. If you think I’m talking about things that are meant to be happening in the comfort of my own four enclosed walls, I just want to highlight that I wasn’t talking about this before someone was trying to make it illegal.
This is not about the vibrator or the lubricant’s, it’s about fighting a mind-set that suppresses us, that conditions us into believing that the natural is unnatural. They tell us that liberation is free then why am I fighting petty issues? It’s about fighting for equality to once and for all irradiate double standards and if the sex toy section on Snapdeal is going to be the catalyst in this long battle, then so be it. All hail the lubricants. Amen.
Written by anonymous Indian woman.